Copilului (m)eu – repostare

Ai fost plamadit din dragoste. Erai un mic sambure, abia rasarit, ce urma sa se dezvolte odata cu trecerea anilor. Turnam peste tine valuri de drag si de tihna, sa-ti fie copilaria frumoasa, mai putin zbuciumata. Ai putea spune ca aveam tendinta de a te creste in puf. Sa nu-ti lipseasca… nu lucrurile materiale ori jucarii de tot felul, ci dragostea. Nu-mi dadeam seama ca uneori te sufocam cu dragalaseniile mele, cum nu realizez cand se intampla asta si cu cei dragi – oamenii maturi de langa mine. Ti-am cules stele norocoase si ti le-am cusut pe plapumioara cu care te inveleam, sa fii mereu in compania unor “rasare si straluce”. Ti-am soptit povesti, mai apoi poezii, te-am leganat si ti-am cantat melodia pentru copii. Am incercat sa te ocrotesc atat cat era nevoie si sa-mi infranez tendinta de a te proteja la tot pasul. Sa nu-ti lovesti capul la colturi de mese, cu gandul la asprimi viitoare ce-aveai sa intampini, sa nu-ti zdrelesti prea tare genunchii, cu gandul la juliri ulterioare ce urmau sa-ti marcheze sufletul, sa nu-ti curga pe obraji prea multe lacrimi sarate, cu gandul la amare izvoare ce-aveau sa-ti roiasca mai tarziu din ale inimii rani. Te-am lasat sa te joci cu faina cand se intampla sa fii langa mine, la “facut prajituri”, si sa-mi ningi chipul si in special nasul cu albul acesteia. Am vrut sa te invat sa zambesti, dar tu stiai sa razi natural. Te-am iubit. Asa cum am stiut si putut eu sa iubesc. * Toate acestea si inca multe altele le-am facut. In gand. Pentru ca tu n-ai existat, de fapt, decat in visele mele, precum descriam odinioara si aici. (1 iunie 2011) Update: Intotdeauna m-am intrebat ce simt copiii care, din diverse motive, nu s-au bucurat de mangaierea parintilor lor. Sunt ei mai vitregiti, mai inchisi, usor autisti la semnele de afectiune, devin in timp mai aspri, au alte valori? Nu sunt eu in masura “sa evaluez”. Stiu doar ca tocmai cei ce n-au avut parte de afectiuni materne ori paterne isi deschid larg, aproape involuntar, bratele la vederea unui strain. Poate pentru ca ei nu sunt obisnuiti sa inmagazineze atata caldura si vor… nu sa primeasca, cum adesea credem cand se reped spre noi, vizitatorii de ocazie, ci s-o dea. Ei simt mereu mai bine cine are nevoie de caldura. La multi ani tuturor copiilor… inclusiv celor ce salasluiesc, firav ori zgomotos, in voi!

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